Movie Review by John Derbyshire |
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Time Machine The Time Machine Science
fiction comes in two varieties: pure
and applied. The purpose of
pure science fiction is, in the words of the late Kingsley Amis, “to
arouse wonder, terror and excitement”.
The purpose of applied science fiction is to allegorize, satirize and
preach. Because we live in a
self-conscious, over-educated and ideological age, most of what passes for
science fiction today is of the applied variety, and even the great classics
of pure science fiction are nowadays viewed through the corrective lenses of
social commentary. H.G.
Wells’s novel The Time Machine is the greatest of all works of pure
science fiction. I read it at
age eleven, when I knew little and cared less about the organization of
society, and had no patience with preachers of any sort. I fell in love with the book at once. I can still remember its precise position on the shelf in my
school library, the color of its binding, and of course the opening
sentence: “The Time Traveler
(for so it will be convenient to speak of him) was expounding a recondite
matter to us...” I have just
read it through again, on the Project
Gutenberg database. It is a beautiful, beautiful book. At the time I read it, I was so taken by it that I went on a
Wells binge, sucking in even those novels of his that were in fact written
to make a social point — even The Passionate Friends, which for a
time I believed must surely hold the key to all the great mysteries of adult
life, but coded in some way inaccessible to me.
(Vladimir Nabokov, who knew a thing or two about literature, thought
highly of The Passionate Friends.) The
Time Machine is a rather obvious
candidate for misinterpretation. The
Time Traveler — in one of those touches that make Wells’s early stories
glow with creative genius, we never know his name — goes off to the year
A.D. 802,701. He finds that the
human race has separated into two species:
the frivolous, elfin Eloi, who live on the surface of the earth and
occupy themselves in childish play, and the Morlocks, a subterranean race of
lemur-like creatures, tending the machinery that provides for the needs of
the Eloi — not entirely from disinterested motives, as the Eloi constitute
their principal food group. Obviously
a scathing comment on class relations in late-Victorian England...
except that the novel shows no trace of a “position” on this
issue, no particular sympathy for either Eloi or Morlock — the Time
Traveler comes to regard both with disgust, though the disgusts are of
different kinds — and does not take the idea anywhere.
It is just something Wells came up with when he tried to imagine what
life would be like in the distant future. I
knew from instinct that any movie of a book that had so enchanted me would
be a disappointment. So it
proved: when, in the late
1970s, I finally caught a TV showing of the 1960 George Pal production, I
found it silly and contemptible. At
that point, nothing would have pleased me but a perfectly literal word for
word reproduction of the Wells story on celluloid.
Movie directors, of course, don’t do that.
(Though if one of them ever felt like doing it, The Time Machine
would be an excellent candidate, as it is a short book whose action could
easily be encompassed in a 2-hour movie.)
Twenty-five years later, I am a wiser and more tolerant person,
willing to take a movie on its own terms and less protective of the darling
books of my childhood, confident that the power of their own genius will
propel them safely forward, at least for a few centuries. I
therefore approached this new production of The Time Machine with a
sort of open-minded resignation. The
most I hoped for was to be given some glimpses of Wells’s original magic,
and to be dazzled for a few minutes by some of those wonderful special
effects movie-makers are capable of today.
Alas, even these very modest expectations were left unfulfilled.
The magic is almost entirely absent here, the special effects feeble. As
little as there is of the atmosphere of Wells’s creation, there is hardly
any more of his story line. Grafted
on to the front of the plot is a new motivation for the building of the time
machine. The Time Traveler (he
is given a name in the movie, but I have forgotten it) proposes to his
sweetheart in New York’s Central Park one snowy winter’s night; but they
are accosted by a robber, who shoots her dead.
Inspired by grief, the Time Traveler builds his machine, and goes
back the necessary few months to change the event.
The intelligent viewer will wonder at this point how the Time
Traveler avoids meeting himself... but
this is not a movie for inquiring minds.
(Readers
who want to be taken on a full tour of the paradoxes inherent in the concept
of time travel should track down a copy of David Gerrold’s 1973 novel The
Man Who Folded Himself, in which all the logical trails are followed out
doggedly to their furthest extremities.
Gerrold’s hero has a “time-belt” bequeathed to him in the will
of a mysterious elderly uncle. He
goes on to do all the things you would think of doing — he murders Jesus
Christ in the wilderness, for example; though the world this creates is so
unattractive to him, he goes back and talks himself out of the deed. By skipping around in time, he generates numberless copies of
himself, who assemble for all-night poker games. In a perfectly logical sequence of events, a female copy of
himself shows up. He has an
affair with her and produces a baby, who grows up to be... himself, and also
his female partner. The
mysterious uncle who gave him the time-belt in the first place is also, of
course, himself.) The
best reason to watch this latest version of The Time Machine is
19-year-old Zambian-Irish (no kidding) pop tart Samantha Mumba, who is
exceptionally easy on the eye. I
am speaking of her physical attributes only;
she can’t act. The
long years in drama school — she started at age 3 — have left little
trace, proving that talent is born, not made.
Her accent lurches unpredictably from Dublin to South London to Los
Angeles. I thought I detected a
flicker of anxiety when she was about to be eaten by Morlocks, but her
expression remains otherwise locked in a sort of vapid half-smile.
She is, however, really good to look at.
Her breasts are particularly fine.
Guy Pearse as the time traveller is all exophthalmic, hollow-cheeked
intensity, without much regard as to whether intensity is actually called
for in any particular scene. Jeremy
Irons does the evil-mastermind thing with scant conviction.
(Though I am pleased to learn that even in the 8,028th century,
psycho villains will still speak with British accents.)
The
special effects are, as I said, second-rate.
The screenplay is fourth- or fifth-rate. The dénouement conforms to the rule that an action movie
must end with something big being blown up, but otherwise makes no sense
even on the film’s own terms, and of course corresponds to nothing H.G.
Wells ever wrote. Here is the
unforgettable ending of the book as Wells actually did write it: He,
I know — for the question had been discussed among us long before the Time
Machine was made — thought but cheerlessly of the Advancement of Mankind,
and saw in the growing pile of civilization only a foolish heaping that must
inevitably fall back upon and destroy its makers in the end. If that is so,
it remains for us to live as though it were not so.
But to me the future is still black and blank — is a vast
ignorance, lit at a few casual places by the memory of his story.
And I have by me, for my comfort, two strange white flowers —
shrivelled now, and brown and flat and brittle — to witness that even when
mind and strength had gone, gratitude and a mutual tenderness still lived on
in the heart of man. Other
than for the limbic-system pleasures of looking at Ms. Mumba’s breasts,
this is a movie to avoid. If it
has any place in the grand scheme of things, it is to inspire the occasional
11-year-old to reach for the original book, and be transported thereby into
that realm of “wonder, terror and excitement” revealed to us only by
great literature, and perhaps a very small number of movies, of which The
Time Machine is most certainly not one.
*
*
* * * Is
time travel actually possible? Popular
science magazines occasionally run articles that say it is.
My own understanding of the matter is as follows.
Travel
into the future (at a speed, I mean, different from the regulation one
minute per minute) is certainly possible, and only a little way over the
technological horizon. It
follows from elementary physical laws that if you accelerate yourself away
from the earth until you have attained a high velocity, then decelerate down
to zero, then return in a symmetrical way, you will find the world hundreds,
thousand or millions of years older (depending on the numerical details of
your acceleration and final velocity), while you yourself have aged much
less. We could, therefore, hurl a spaceship crew into the far
future, once we had a method of propulsion capable of accelerating them to
the very high speeds required. Travel
into the past is much more problematical.
The laws of physics, as presently understood, do not entirely rule it
out, but make it very difficult and improbable.
You need to locate, and get to, a region of extraordinary singularity
in space (or create one for yourself — but that is far over the
technological horizon). Then
you have to survive a journey through that singularity, which is likely to
be imbedded in matter at fantastically high temperatures and pressures.
A journey to the center of the sun would be somewhat easier. Furthermore, so far as travel into the past is concerned, there is the compelling argument that if, at any time in the future, such a thing were to be realized, then all of human history, including the present, ought to be swarming with tourists from that future and its future, along with numberless copies of themselves à la Gerrold. Science fiction fans sometimes respond: How do you know this isn’t so? Those future-tourists might be moving among us unrecognized. I suppose they might; and when confronted with, say, Pee Wee Herman, one cannot help but wonder. On balance, though, it seems to me that travel into the past is an impossibility, and always will be. |
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